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The Fable of the Elephant and the Woman Who Wasn't Blind
This isn’t the story about the four blind men and the elephant, this is the story of me looking at that 6 ton elephant in the zoo, tethered to that tiny stake, and wondering why on earth she doesn’t break loose. Instead she rocks back and forth...
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Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It
Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning. All things...
Let's Say You're a Dog. Are You So Competitive You'd Eat a Carrot?
Seems like a girl always learns something out on the farm! Yes, it’s a farm tale and I’m going to change the names of the animals to protect the guilty!
I spent last weekend down in Lower Alabama where my friend from high school owns a farm. On...
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A Resolution Worth Keeping
New Years Resolutions: Making them is a tradition -keeping of them is usually optional. That's unfortunate, because some of the pledges we make in those moments before the calendar changes are wonderful things to aspire to - spending more time...
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Ways Father's can Invest in Their Children
One of the primary negative impacts on children is the lack of a consistent, nurturing father or father-figure. One of the primary predictors of future violent behavior in boys is how much neglect they perceive from their father. It’s not enough for “dad” to go to work, come home, read the paper, watch ESPN and then go to bed. That’s being a roommate not a dad.
Children need to perceive active investment from fathers. We’ve defined a good dad as the man who works consistently, brings home the paycheck, and doesn’t openly abuse his children and family. I think it’s time to expect more out of fathers. Here’s some suggestions.
1) Mentor Humility: Fathers can have a powerful impact on their children if they are willing to actively mentor humility. Showing children it’s ok to admit when they are wrong and placing others before one’s self are powerful investments.
2) Invest Time: Set aside time for your children on a regular, frequent basis. This time is for the kids. It allows them to bond with dad and each other in a familial, empowering way. This develops family coherence, problem solving development, and can be used to develop ethics and values.
3) Have bedtime with your children: Fathers should set aside bedtime
as very specific time to spend with each of the children. This is a time to reflect on the day, a time to establish calm communication with the children.
Children require a sense of safety and security. Bedtime can be used to create a quiet atmosphere that encourages your children to share and allows them to see that you are there for them when the world is dark and unsure.
Finally, both mom and dad should participate in bedtime. If children can fall asleep feeling safe, and secure they will experience a higher quality of sleep leading to improved, positive behavior. They will trust their parents more, leading to an increase in communication.
Fatherhood is no longer about procreation leading to paycheck contribution. It is investment leading to excellence. Fathers need to be as involved or more involved than mothers in the raising of children.
Darrin F. Coe, MA is the father of two very active pre-schoolers and a mental health professional
Darrin F. Coe, MA
1019 Clover
Canon City, CO 81212
719-275-5907
coe@ris.net
About the Author
Darrin F. Coe holds a master's degree in professional psychology and is the father of two preschool boys. contact at http://dcoe1.tripod.com
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