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Protecting Our Spiritual Sapling
Protecting Our Spiritual Sapling
Robert Elias Najemy
When we plant a young tree sapling, we need to protect it from the various dangers to its safe survival. One danger is the lack of water. We need to see that it is watered frequently, until...
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LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES
LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES
Our doubt concerning our self-worth is the main obstacle to our emotional and inter-relational harmony. This doubt is the cause of our greatest fears such as being rejected, laughed at, ignored, unloved, and most of...
The Big Fat Lie About "Trying Harder!"
Word count: 568
Format: 60 character word wrap Resource Box: 4-lines+web address Keywords: Goals, goal seeking, success
Description: Just trying harder to reach a goal may seem promising. But trying harder is often the worse possible way to...
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On Empathy
The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:
"The ability to imagine oneself in anther's place and understand the other's feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. It is a term coined in the early 20th century, equivalent to the...
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Who Is A Compassionate Listener?
It is difficult to become a good listener who both validates the pain of the other, while maintaining the ability to look at themselves. Each person must listen compassionately to themselves and each other.
Within many relationships, rather than engaging in compassionate listening, many couples polarize. One partner is the voice of reason, the head, while the other partner is the voice of emotion, the heart. These patterns often create communication problems, which hardly begins to touch on the angst that can be felt between couples.
While, listening with both our hearts and our heads is valuable, neither is complete by itself, because listening with both makes one complete person. Someone who uses just their head while listening is using their intellect and knowledge, and when used individually, without the hearts part, it can be cold and indifferent. When listening with just the heart compassion turns into confused feelings.
A compassionate listener is someone who listens with both their head and their heart.
Here are traits of a compassionate listener:
1. They are commited to listening.
2. They have the intention of understanding, as deeply as possible, the message and concerns
of others.
3. They seek to understand the reality of another through both compassion and
understanding.
4. They refrain from verbal and nonverbal judgments.
5. They are physically and mentally ready to listen.
6. They validate their understanding of the other`s reality before expressing their opinion.
7. They create a balance between their head and their heart.
8. They remain present and are in the here and now.
9. They are open to new learning experiences about their own behaviors.
10. They self-evaluate and can laugh at themselves.
Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D
About the Author: Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com
Source: www.isnare.com
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